Why people should NOT get married in Pakistan - The Express Tribune

US
Despite criticism, Kangana Ranaut is back with Simran to prove that she's the real queen of Bollywood
Love at first Careem? Uh, no thanks, but perhaps Careem should focus on improving their existing services
Farewell, Mr Om Puri, you were our voice of peace and harmony
COMMENTS (121)

Sameer | 5 years ago | Reply Your reasons do stand, indeed. Another one of those things the Lord created to make life easier for humanity, ruined by the relentless tendency of people trying to better the other. When daily life becomes “a challenge being taken up against the other”, wisdom states there is a less likely chance of a “Lived happily ever after”, anyway. Ah, Education and money, combines, the best global contraceptive.

karan verma | 6 years ago | Reply nice article .

VIEW MORE COMMENTS

BigBear | 6 years ago | Reply you are full stereotypes i couldnt stop laughing when you call our society sexist, guess whose talking , your overall agenda is going against Haditth and tolerating that so called feminism. you cant play GOD. so better off like you say so, and embrace the western norms full of turmoil and divorce rate is like a loose motion in Euperaon and american cultures. mind you free will to do what you intend to do and remember you cant FIX Qadr. Predestination.

Waleed Rehman | 8 years ago | Reply I do understand where you are coming from. I’m a person who extremely observes people and values relationships. See humanity is beautiful. Everyone is unique and falls in their place accordingly. Different experiences in life lead to different conclusions and ideas. I’m sorry if you’ve had to experience things which I’m an alien to, but see I’ve seen relationships so beautiful; cannot be described. The increase rate of divorces doesn’t not correlate with the concept of marriage, it’s because of the media we feed on. We watch and see stories which have no relation to the real life you’re living, leaving you seeing a mirage which you might expect to be better so you’re not satisfied with what you have and end up losing both. Personally, I love people and I love the relationship of a marriage, it’s so beautiful to me that it’s wordless and on top of that as a Muslim I know that each good act I do with and for her is written as a good deed. Invaluable, one must understand.

Azam | 8 years ago | Reply Well there is nothing wrong with the marriage itself, It has to be a wonderful stage of our lives, I call it “The second Innings of Life”. The problem is you reap what you sow! I am in no way against the knowledge or education or any freedom given to the men and the women aswell, but the thing is as my sister here quoted the difference between our generation and our parents, is because that we forgot what our culture is! Western people are the same as they were before, the divorce rate is the slightly higher or may the same as it has been in decades! But there not as much gap between this generation and their parents as it is on our side. Why? because wer a generation stuck in the middle! We need freedom yet we want our partners not to cheat? We want to educate our women/men to the extent when there’s nothing left (The spark, or the fun age) and then get them married and then we complain for the tolerance issues? In short we have lost or almost let go of our values/culture/religion all at the same time and we are trying to accept someones else’s, which we can NEVER. Our telecom industry has provided our generation with a freakin 1 Rupee or I dont know 5 Rupee a whole night! Either we accept our culture/religion and have more education on what it teaches us, or we letgo our religion/culture and accept whats on the west side of the world. So ok then my wife can lock herself in a room she want to write a book, well ill go have a drink with my friends and probably end up somewhere else’s place? My wife in furutre wants to travel? ok then let me find a suitable job and grow myself to the early or mid 30’s while tasting other women, as with the media and stuff its really hard to save ourselves. My husband wants me to accept him drinking or late nights with his male friends then let me out with mine and dont have any doubts when I come home late! It is all messed up, UNLESS we get back to what we actually are. And you know what since I have spent almost all my 20’s abroad I have seen that Iqbal was right “Ye wo musalma hain jinko dekh ke sharmae yahood o nisar” We want the world to accept us at any cost, which they never will.

danishfayaz47 | 9 years ago | Reply Seriously? How childish writers are on this blog? I mean this one’s really off the charts. There are thousands of problems in this world and marriage is one of them. What you my dear are saying that we should just avoid it :p running away is not the solution. Please grow up and learn to solve your problems instead of wining about them.

saba | 9 years ago | Reply dnt marry off ur daughters at a young age n to the wrong person!!

saba | 9 years ago | Reply agreed,,,,shadi(marriage) ruined my lyf,,,my dreams,,,got married at the age ov barely 19,was forced by my hubby n inlaws to produce kids,wanted to get rid ov it but social culture n norms forced me to stick to it reluctantly,,,now 6 years later i feel i hav nothing left fr myself,,,cnt continue my education cos iv to raise my kids,,,hubby doesnt provide us,taken away my gold n dowry fr his brother,s family,,,,iv been thru hell in all these years n still sticking to it!!

Areeba Mohsen | 9 years ago | Reply Exceptional. I loved how focused on both genders while writing it. I wish boys realized what girls go through and we girls realized what boys go through so both the genders can put their contribution towards a healthy marriage.

Married Man | 9 years ago | Reply Should not get Married….??? All married men in Pakistan will agree with you 100%

Khan | 9 years ago | Reply The only thing I loved in this article was “Shaadi no longer means marriage, it means wedding.” Yes, most of the things you said ARE right but obviously there are happy couples too. There are both kind of people. Don’t stereotype. You talked about how our generation is different. It sure is! All those qualities you mentioned are correct. I, myself, am a reflection of that. However it does not mean I have forgotten the values given by my mother and that I won’t make as much effort as my mother did to build a home. Probably it’s all about how you brought up your kids. Lastly, your article says people should not get married (trust me, even I believe some people arent meant to be married) but if everyone thinks like you, well, wouldn’t that disturb the natural life cycle and ultimately halt the human existence? Life is all about compromises. We make them for our Parents, Siblings, Friends, etc. The same goes for our partner and inlaws. And we deserve the same in return. P.S: I really hope you find a loving and caring husband and family and that all your dreams come true. 🙂

Baber Rehman Khattak | 9 years ago | Reply you stressed more on the relationships ending and all but let me tell you one thing. I mean no offense to girls but today marriages are no more marraiges You were right in stating that the it has changed into weddings now. Everyone wants their daughter to marry a rich guy but in our society for a normal guy like me getting *Rich* will take a good amount of time. Im 23 now i cant see myself fitting that cliché of RICH HANDSOME AND SETTLED guy for atleast next 7 8 or maybe 10 years. this scares me to even approach a girl for a formal proposal Because the rejection will not just be a rejection ,it will be more a case of looking down upon me and my status and i cant live with that. most girls snd their families go for status and fortunes rathee than natures of the family itself. You find a suitable girl for your son you start spending lavishly trying to impress her and all. Because only money can impress people these days , can a guy give away his daughter to a poor mullahs son?? Be brutally honest… im sorry to say this but its honeslty a game of buying and selling now… Im not very rich im the son of two very hardworking doctors and im also a doctor to be but fitting that description i mentioned before will take me lot of years. So i have to agree with each and every word you wrote wassalam p.s im open to any criticism if someone doesnt agree.

Arsha | 9 years ago That is inevitable in a society where women are expected to be financially independent on the husband for their life. Then if it is an arranged marriage each party will look for their best interest using measurable criteria. I am sure u can find a girl but then you would have ur own criteria abt her education, looks, personality etc. Else for an average guy to find a marriageable girl without any checklist criteria is definitely not a tough task

Usman Malik | 9 years ago | Reply Awesome reply 101% agreed doctor It is we who has managed to to destroy most of the society by not marrying at the right time (which can vary for each individual) we must learn to organize (and accept) balanced marriages, that are not a burden on either party.

Cyz | 9 years ago Well ….all the social factors, future generations etc… All good points however I have one life which is too short and too unpredictable on most counts. I think my first responsibility is for me to make the most of my life and live it based on my aspirations. As long as I am not hurting anyone directly …. I don’t need others taking away from me what I desire out of the previous few years that I have. So if that means taking my own time to figure out who I want to marry, when I want to marry or whether I even want to get married ….. I won’t sacrifice my aspirations and years to appease society etc etc. I just don’t have that much time .

phateema | 9 years ago | Reply I liked da writing piece – and On a lot Ov places I agreed 🙂 – but what made me comment es why do you think that – questioning norms & thinking Out Ov da box – creates problems in relation ships?

Zeeiz Shah | 9 years ago | Reply How could you possibly be this naive?

Adeel Siddiqui | 9 years ago | Reply u certainly seem shocked and outraged by the docs opinion lol

kzr313 | 9 years ago Do I? I had actually not meant to direct that bit at Dr. Ayesha, it was more an observation of society.

Adeel Siddiqui | 9 years ago | Reply well, firstly its sad u had to go through a traumatic childhood experience, the result of which may be this article and the opinion u have formed about marriage, thinking about it all these years. i probably would form the same opinion were i in ur shoes. but then i wouldn’t generalize it. itd just be my bad experience. secondly, ur article contradicts itself. u start by saying ur not going to preach what one should do or not, and u end it by saying what one should not do!? and third, what is the point of this article? kick out religion from this topic for a sec, marriage is still a humanly need and to some extent i would say a necessity too(hint: Maslow’s hierarchy). your article gives only the negatives and a very extreme solution to the problem. agreed couples face problems, and if uve realized that, shouldn’t that make u offer some sort of advice, studying psychology and being a blogger, it should be ur moral responsibility. we are already living in such bad times. ur article isnt helping anyone, rather, its just gathering haters of this concept. and tell me, what should people not marrying do about their sexual life? adultery, in a way, u r promoting adultery! and prostitution, ur promoting that too! and it could further increase the divorce rates. broken homes! mother-less or father-less children! depressive state of divorced man or woman! plus the torture of putting parents through the stress and emotions of seeing their child go through divorce! Please think before writing. yes u may have succeeded in getting a lot of attention, but if its at society’s expense, then its just wrong and selfish and immature.

Talha Khan | 9 years ago | Reply It is a well written blog….I usually found such discussions until someone not get married….or one want to delay…..but after the marriage I usually found things calm…in majority cases….its about how u take the relationship….every relationship is not at all start of rebellion :p

Saad | 9 years ago | Reply there are good and bad sides to everything, the author has merely pointed out the bad one. i’m a married man, a dad and we’re loving every second of it. all relationships can go bad, so some of the things mentioned here are just not exclusive to marriages. those that are, are a result of us not being able to adjust to the new lifestyle, which can hardly be blamed on marriages or marriages in pakistan. as far as the norms go there are some scary things associated with the whole deal, but then in my opinion only a lesser person should shy away from marriage purely on that logic. why not get married and break those stupid norms, or better still don’t let them affect you have have people respect the way you want things to be. it’s difficult, not impossible. there comes a time when others ahve to give in, its all a matter of who has stronger resolve… i believe its pretty immature to define marriages in a linear way and coming out with a single effective plan of action (or no action)…

Shaqran Zuberi | 9 years ago | Reply I Strongly disagree with this article, had it been written by someone from the west then it could have made some sense but in east specially in our country thats what the CULTURE is, thats what we are, thats what family is. If such mentality is there then it means living with parents and taking care of them is also obsolete now as it also hinders the freedom liberty and career etc etc. In our culture, religion and society there are some designated places for Men and Women. But yes if you compare it with west then no argument. P.s witing skills of the author are highly appreciated.

utg001 | 9 years ago | Reply I agree with the psychological analysis of the writer, it is almost exactly what I have been through, and I have seen similar cases happen to my friends. What worries me most is not that I have t go through this, but the fact that I cannot do anything about it if I do not like this system. There goes my freedom of love and life.

Izzah Khan | 9 years ago | Reply You could have approached this in a better way. How about contentment and satisfaction that is a major driving force in a solid marriage..

Izzah Khan | 9 years ago | Reply This is such a baseless article that doesn’t need to be in Tribune. And why does the title specifically mention Pakistan. A lot of these gender norms and marriage institution grounds are seen the world over.

Waleed Sabir | 9 years ago | Reply what does it have to do with Pakistan….it is a global trend…..it happens all over world and both genders face problems adjusting into the new life style

samma | 9 years ago | Reply did a five year old write this article? dear if you want to stay locked up in your room all day after marriage I don’t think marriage is for you. As for our the older generation “sticking it out through thick and thin” it’s all bcuz of the pressure society put on them they did not have the freedom to get out of unhappy and forced marriages. atleast our generation doesn’t stand for such kinda crap

Graham Goon | 9 years ago | Reply Aahh the naivete of the young….. makes me chuckles. Marriage isn’t perfect but neither is a society where this institution loses its place. Look to the Scandinavian and French for what that society would be like and unfortunately it’s the women who will bear the brunt of that decision. Maybe when she grows up…..

Sarah | 9 years ago | Reply My opinions happen to be akin! What she described was not only her observation but I’m certain many young Pakistani girls feel the same. It’s not being negative about getting married, she’s repelled because of the way marriages in our society turn out to be. “Full stop to your dreams” is a fact. Get married, settle down, keep your husband and his relatives content… This is what is taught to a girl who is ready tie the knot. Nobody cares how she dreamed her life to be. She does everything she’s asked to and never gets time to listen to her own heart. It’s everything but a fairy tale. A girl should at least be given sometime to live her own dreams, own life till she’s mentally prepare to take any responsibility!

Sam Holland | 9 years ago | Reply I think she just wrote the basic red lines of a yash raj Bollywood movie grinn

Komal | 9 years ago | Reply Actually, all these issues arise when people marry too early, and come under pressures from their families. They should marry late, when they’re financially stable, not just ditch the idea of marriage altogether. Marriage is actually a pretty special bond, don’t make it seem like some terrible thing.

Ali Masood | 9 years ago I completely agree with Komal, people should marry when they are financially stable.

Zanie | 9 years ago | Reply Why “in Pakistan” ??? don’t forget the others!!

Syed Ahsan Ahmad | 9 years ago | Reply Oh yes finally some one with brains Sonal Arshad Siraj thank you for putting out this idea looking forward to join hands, and don’t listen to those who tell you that its crazy because people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the once who do.

Hassan Farid | 9 years ago | Reply This is so childish. I bet this girl is going to marry her phopho’s son who is bald and an electrical engineer. He lives in gulf and is in early 30s.

Aleeha | 9 years ago | Reply Zeen this problem is not only present in Pakistan. Please read Written In The Stars by Aesha Saeed.

Aleeha | 9 years ago | Reply Sonal I really appreciate what you have written. Being a woman I share your views. Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life and this is what our society needs to learn. I, myself have heard horrible stories of married couples and it was not until someone very close to me became a victim of this institution that I realized I’m never getting married. It takes time to know your life partner and just when you start to see each others true self that you are already knocked up(pregnant). That is when the worst part begins and you realize that you have nowhere to go. People tell you to accept each other for who you are and devote your life for your child. Forget all about your dreams and plans and become the scapegoat you were destined to be.

billy | 9 years ago | Reply she is soo right…about everything !!

Raaz | 9 years ago | Reply Nonsense article…… It suggests all marriages are hell a bias assumption n of course how does it justify living single is blessed ….. Immature write n content should be throughly examined before printing!!!

Danish Zaidi | 9 years ago | Reply Very true!!!. Very logical explanation and reasoning have been provided in this article. i ll be marrying in next month and now had a same feeling what you have expressed, being a boy even i have now so much fears….

Saman Irshad | 9 years ago | Reply Well said….life is all about balance….

umam | 9 years ago | Reply agreed with you zeen

Abbas Khan | 9 years ago | Reply I love turtles.

Junaid Khan | 9 years ago | Reply LOL… All i can say

Misbah saad | 9 years ago | Reply I have only one problem why she used our country Name Pakistan … Marriage problems she wrote is almost related to every country even American facing the worst relationship problems Dear I just want to say don’t use our country in negative wen I read the title of this story I push myself to read this story to know k aisa kia ho gia Pakistan Mae I don’t stay Pakistani couples r perfect but much better then rest of the world “Careful wen u use our Pakistan name”

Turtlehead | 9 years ago | Reply Good read ! I totally agree with you ! best to not get married until one feels ready for it, age is just a number that’s all ! I wish you the very best in life !!

Ghazanfar Ahmed | 9 years ago | Reply This is a good read Sonal, few misconceptions are there but I liked the guys salary part. Best of luck.

Shumaila Siddiqui | 9 years ago | Reply Agreed

AM | 9 years ago | Reply sweetheart. life is like this, not always rosy..did u commit suicide? do u eer imagine that lufe shoudnt have happend so u would have been saved from the stress? No, u didnt stopped living becasue its tough at times, and u dont stop getting into relationships because it might hurt u. pretty immature on your part but wont blame you. just a word of advice, get to know your partner before marrige and be his best friend, love evaporates after a few years its the friendship and trust that keeps u together, as for susral, they re nobody, dont listen to every tom dick and harry and wory aout thoer opinions, never share the personal stuff between u and hubby with ANYONE, not your parents not even ur best friend. get married. its beautiful and miserable at the same time. just like Life. Goodluck

Sheikh Danish Ejaz | 9 years ago | Reply very interesting read… a lot of points are spot on! though there is some lack of experience which i wont blame you for :)…

Sadia Sheikh | 9 years ago | Reply Totally agree. The problem is not in marriage, it is in how our society has influenced such a beautiful relation by all the negative ways possible

Saba | 9 years ago | Reply I do believe that men are as stressed and pressured as girls but that doesnt mean that are supposed to be superior. Also the typical mentality that still prevails in our society needs to change. There are few households that still feel that women should not be working, and they should be more understanding towards their husbands cause they earn and feed you. But the truth lies that things are changing and women are as hardworking as men, they also can travel and have life of their own which they never had before. Our mothers and khalas never had life of their own, so its important to balance the things out and create an environment that should have equality not in how much salary or gender but towards treating them with respect and and showing tolerance and listening to them as no human is perfect and believes to make mistakes.

Sidra Riaz | 9 years ago | Reply I can relate to every word you`ve written except for how you assumed that men don`t have to change much after marriage. I think men too have a compromise a lot and it is an equally difficult decision for them too. Rest assured, I sure as hell don`t want to get married (not atleast anytime soon).

Individualist | 9 years ago | Reply Finally someone speaking truth about marriages in Pakistan!

Danish Dildar ALI | 9 years ago | Reply I have some more reasons to share with her, wish I could talk to her. And I really enjoyed her satirist approach lolx; well yes she is right but she lacks some more fundamental reasons which are the base of all the major problems in many societies around the world especially in India.

Deen Sheikh | 9 years ago | Reply The generations before ours (our parents, grandparents, etc) had a different meaning of relationships than we do. For them, it was all about compromise and fixing things. They are the kind of couples who go through hell and still stick together. I’m sorry but I don’t think our generation has what it takes to tolerate and be with each other through thick and thin. Therising divorce rates back up this argument She makes a Valid point on rising divorce rates…..people have become too self obsessed.

islooboy | 9 years ago | Reply Yawn

rameez khan | 9 years ago | Reply A very nicely written article clearly stating the present society and the problems within. I 100% agree with the concerns highlighted in there and yes it takes guts to compromise and i dnt want to quote a figure here but yes its the girl who has to compromise and men stick to there thinking which leads to problems. But at the same time you cannot deny the fact that there are gopd conaiderate people within our society and the world that do realize the sacrifies a girl makes and act accordingly so u all it takes is to have a good education be as nice as possible and enjoy the ride to hell coz in the end its better to be married and have someone close to talk to when u r in ur last stages then regret not having one because u were to naive to take this step. In the end its good to read the concerns of the society through these articles . makes the sensible think and pave the way forward for themselves ! Cheers

Ammar | 9 years ago | Reply Instead of completely writing against marriage you should have written how to improve them. It seem like u r also full of negativity

Zeen zeen | 9 years ago | Reply So true …our traditional Pakistani marriage is fixing and compromising and they are a kind of couples who go through hell but still stick together. I agree with you.. I just don’t know why our parents don’t leave us to make our decision our own for marriage & to chose the person we do wish to marry ..after all they give us education up to the level of 18 still they want us to live life on their ways and their rules…

Bushra | 9 years ago | Reply Well written but I don’t understand why the title says “in Pakistan” … This is sort of a global trend. I guess its just there to make the topic sound more controversial. Media gimmicks!

Abracadabra | 9 years ago | Reply You will be criticized for writing this piece. But it is good that you did. Do what makes you happy. Most people are like sheep, they do what they are told. It takes courage to do something different. In the long run, we are all dead so might as well live your life the way you want to.

mooodey | 9 years ago | Reply Some of it is true but most of it is nothing but a pile of silly stuff. I don’t understand what’s wrong with ladies or gentlemen these days. Let’s not complicate a relationship which is so pure & divine. I’m not being dramatic here, I’m a married man and I strongly believe that sacrifices are STILL THERE, compromises are STILL THERE and the love is STILL THERE. Let’s not mess it up. Please? No? Ok.

Arsal | 9 years ago Just follow ISLAM u will get the answer of everything

kk | 9 years ago Sacrifices by female partners only/

ارشد حسین | 9 years ago I agree with you, We have to sacrifice in every aspect of like like study, living, job business, social stuff Then why to blame only this pure loving relation.

Dr. Ayesha Jamil | 9 years ago | Reply Would u throw away a car just because u dont know how to drive it? There’s a right way to do things… u cant escape just because it is difficult…. not marrying has bigger consequences on the society and individuals… what about future generation? Can a child grow up in the absence of a stable household? u r a psychology student.. u must have read abt child psychology as well… Or nobody should bear children either? I am not judging u but u published ur opinion on a public forum… ppl hv every right to contradict

kzr313 | 9 years ago I don’t think she said anything about having children growing up in the absence of a stable household. Your comment is based on the assumption that she means people shouldn’t get married but should be having kids anyway. And again, she’s not forcing her opinion on anyone, people will still do what they want to. We need to be less shocked and outraged by people’s opinions (right or wrong) if we are to grow as a society and be able to expand our consciousness. Personally, I think fewer people should be having children (and fewer children) as I feel most people don’t fully appreciate the magnitude of the task and the effects their actions can have on the lives of their children and society. Most people have kids because that’s just what people do right? (Get married, have kids…) But again, just my opinion.

areeba | 9 years ago | Reply Very nice….!!!

Ovais Syed | 9 years ago | Reply Everything was so biased in this article. I am afraid what she has to say about the 80% (according to a gallup survey) happily married couples. This is life, and life demands compromises. They can be on your goals, ambitions, and ofcourse on you lifestyle. Childish, naive, and very biased.

riziriz | 9 years ago | Reply It is men of our society who have failed to respect this sacred institution and also the failure of women who have become mothers of those men and forgotten a simple fact that they were also women and so are their daughters. Husband is supposed to be one very special friend or should I say BFF. rizwan

Lost | 9 years ago | Reply Another rant, another blog

Aftab Riaz | 9 years ago | Reply Hmm… immaturity at its peak.!

p r sharma | 9 years ago | Reply The misleading title is given by the ET personnel to sensationalize the blog.. author has all the observation /hearsay from the society . So the problem lies with the individuals and not with the institution of marriage. In case you don’t have sufficient opportunity to know about your prospective life partner there is every possibility of a failed marriage particularly when you do not give space to the other. If after marriage each wants and expects the other to mould as per his/her liking relationship is bound to get deteriorated.

Asfandyar Khan | 9 years ago | Reply Somebody got rejected

Mohsen Ansari | 9 years ago | Reply Great write-up! Today for the condition for boys its the salary figure which should be in 6 figure and profession. For girls condition is to most beautiful girl in the world who can work like a maid after marriage.

Ajay gupta | 9 years ago | Reply No wonder you are marriage phobic if your 8 yr old brother knew with confidence that one day you will be gone and all that he sees around him will be his. Of course his thinking is at par with the laws of the land and the mental makeup of the society u live in. Charity begins at home. Your parents need to change your brother’s mentality before they can hope to have a broad minded man for their daughter!

Adriana Atefah C. Khan | 6 years ago Marriage might be very hard if it’s choosed by others. It’s harmful for the health lives in constantly distress. The problem is not the marriage institution but how people leads.

Soofia Malik | 9 years ago certainly it was the case of sibling rivalry which happens with normal kids. A boy child should not be expected to have a “mentality” at such a young age. AS for the society we live in is much better once you bring in the religious perspective where people believe in being accountable to their god. In societies that are based on ideas that there will be no judgement day are worst.

Saad Bin Javed | 9 years ago | Reply Life will teach her a very powerful lesson if she goes through with this fantasy.

turtlehead | 9 years ago i think she would want it that way too. Its her life and her mistakes.

haseeb | 9 years ago | Reply Here we go again, another song about “Innocence of Women” OR “After all we are living in Male’s world”. 🙂

GI JOE | 9 years ago | Reply What a trashy article.

asher | 9 years ago | Reply I guess if the whole article supposed to be true then there shouldn’t be any marriages at all..

Aamir Khan | 9 years ago | Reply I stopped reading at “It’s better for boys; their lives pretty much stay the same.”

Samman | 9 years ago Compared to girls, it is better but definitely not the same.

Qasim | 9 years ago | Reply The Bond always works for those who are not myopic and foresee there similarties and otherwise in a realistic manner, or for those who are well seasoned into the status quo established by the society: to compromise at all and then the comes the happy chant, they lived happily ever after.

zoalord12 | 9 years ago | Reply i agree with most of what u’ve said, but the solution is to find a genuine partner, not a time pass lover. also, improve ur english if u wan to write a book, use “to” instead of “too” here …….”They become mediators and judges even though no one asks them too”

Huz Younus | 9 years ago | Reply Dear kid..you seem to be a great writer..but a very poor observer…your reasons are very childish and immature..you need to work hard in this sector.. May allah guide you.

Zahra Rhm | 9 years ago i used to think like this too but now i have changed , god forbid if i would have married at that time , my husband would be most unluckiest man on earth because i was not ready for responsibilities , now my husband will be lucky to have me because i am different now. i think people should understand this , when kids are young they want to chase their dreams and so stupid things , let them be stupid ,in few years they will find out their ways in life .they always change , always ……

Jehanzeb Mahar | 9 years ago | Reply How will the people satisfy their sexual urge?

Z Khan | 9 years ago | Reply Very well written , though I disagree with a few of the assumptions about the in-laws(that’s not always the case). Especially the “Sextime bomb” para…..

Adeel | 9 years ago | Reply She is spot-on when she says, “No, I don’t believe the institution of marriage is flawed. Today in our times, however, this institution has lost its sacredness because people stopped respecting the bond itself.” And the irony is you can sometimes convince people around you but they won’t support you for the fear of “Zamana” “Log kia kahien ge?”.

AmericanMuse | 9 years ago | Reply Yes indeed! People should not get married in Pakistan, or anywhere else either. Marriage is a dying institution and will not be around in a few generations from now.

abc | 9 years ago | Reply Lol………… I know few others like you, who are not getting any proposal are talking in same tone

Jawad Ul Hassan | 9 years ago | Reply Rightly pointed out… go girl…

Iftikhar Ali | 9 years ago | Reply I am really scared https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV_4mmqOMl0

Sarah Rehan | 9 years ago | Reply Loved reading this! Especially your account at age 6. Agree with almost all of your words and thoughts. Good luck with life and co-existence with the haphazard social order around you, my friend.

Sabeet | 9 years ago | Reply To be very honest; this article is very well articulated!! I for one agree that the meaning of marriage has been lost and we do need reform-Major Reform!

Parvez | 9 years ago | Reply The fear of the unknown that was in you as a little six year old seems still to reside in you even today. The bond of marriage is an evolutionary step in the life cycle, its not easy but its fulfilling……and your apprehensions of loosing your individuality is misplaced because that would depend entirely on you. You claim that today’s girl is independent and different and you may be right but remember that today’s boy has also evolved…….so its up to you to choose wisely.

Khalid | 9 years ago | Reply stop denouncing marriage or bring an alternative the article is a piece of confusion because author has to follow any system and most people in our country follow the marriage institute,and of course in west there is an alternative to marriage,which author can not endorse openly in our part of the world,due to reasons one can understand although in west marriage is really difficult due to legal consequnces of divorce,when both spouses suffer equally,so rather than not believing in marriage,improve ur cultural,social,legal shortcomings in our society or one can follow the westren alternative which of course is currently not applicable in our country, Only denouncing something without presenting alternative is deficient and creates more confusion among people who are already confused.

anon0912 | 9 years ago | Reply Honestly i agree with you.Being 20,the world marriage to me right now just means responsibilities.That means i have to earn and take care of a wife and kid.Plus i don’t think people are meant to be 50 years together anyways and science backs me up.Whether i will give in or not later on,only time will tell.But no matter what you say,us humans have a need for human contact and yearning to share a bond with someone that transcends understanding..to be adored and understood on a deeper level but unfortunately most of us take for granted what we already have.

kaamAdmi | 9 years ago | Reply Every one is entitled for his/her own choice. But we must remember one thing no animal ever got married. also humans are social animal. Some more social ….some more otherwise

kaamAdmi | 9 years ago | Reply No animal ever got married

MalikSaabi | 9 years ago | Reply I think you have a lot to say but too little space to say it in, and too few who might actually listen. A lot to be agreed with. As I write this, a loud disagreement is going on between the ladies in the neighbourhood. Impeccable timing. Marriage is… something. It’s not to be taken lightly, not to be taken in jest, not to be thrown away as obsolete. There were all sorts of marriage stories of peoples past; same is the case today. Some in the new generation are even better at it than their elders, while some get it so very wrong its bewildering. This too shall pass, and you too shall wed – such is life – what you make of it is part destiny, part your own effort; one you accept, the other you take care of yourself.

Fawad | 9 years ago | Reply I am a male and i agree that marriage is a menace

laila | 9 years ago | Reply I love everything that u have written….keep it up, I wish girls every where could adopt this concept

Ozair | 9 years ago | Reply A very childish and naive article. I am sure she will be married in the next 2 to 3 years

Danish Dildar ALI | 9 years ago easy for you to say; do you even process anything ? ? ?

Moeed Khalid | 9 years ago chuckles

Saad | 9 years ago Much sooner than that, I have already sent my rishta proposal to her place

Annonymous | 9 years ago You just proved her point. You’re the reason our society gives no space to women to actually have a life after they get married.

shinaaya | 9 years ago I really wanna know y u find it childish? Please elaborate. I am sure u must have something in mind when u judged it

lkhan | 9 years ago | Reply well said. travel the world, do continue to write, and lead your individual life until and unless you find a man who respects all your qualities, individual rights, and takes you far from those horrid in-laws!!! Marriage today is a farce….

Supriya Arcot | 9 years ago Why so negative ?

Replying to X

Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.

For more information, please see our Comments FAQ

Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
For more information, please see our Comments FAQ
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, redistributed or derived from. Unless otherwise stated, all content is copyrighted © 2024 The Express Tribune.

source

TV soaps: Is the 'shaadi' plot really that bad? – DAWN.com

Mock Shaadi celebrates traditional Pakistani culture – Pipe Dream – Binghamton University Pipe Dream

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Why people should NOT get married in Pakistan – The Express Tribune

TV soaps: Is the 'shaadi' plot really that bad? – DAWN.com

Mock Shaadi celebrates traditional Pakistani culture – Pipe Dream – Binghamton University Pipe Dream

Leave a Comment Cancel reply